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Lyanne Westie

Self-Care: More Than Feeling Good - Shaping Our Worldview through the Nervous System

When we hear about self-care, we often think about activities that make us feel good, like taking a warm bath, enjoying a favorite hobby, or spending time with loved ones. While these activities do help us feel more calm, joyful, and peaceful, self-care goes much deeper. It plays a crucial role in supporting our nervous system and, ultimately, changing how we perceive the world around us.


The Nervous System and Feeling Safe.

Have you ever noticed how your body reacts when you're scared or stressed? Maybe your heart starts racing, your palms get sweaty, or you feel like running away. This is your nervous system at work, specifically the part called the autonomic nervous system, which controls how your body responds to stress and relaxation.


Understanding the Autonomic Nervous System


The autonomic nervous system has two main parts:

  1. Sympathetic Nervous System: Think of this as your body's "fight or flight" system. When you’re stressed or in danger, it kicks in to help you react quickly. Your heart beats faster, your muscles get ready to move, and you’re super alert.

  2. Parasympathetic Nervous System: This is like the "rest and digest" system. It helps you relax, digest food, and heal. When this system is active, your heart rate slows down, and you feel calm.


Polyvagal Theory


Dr. Stephen Porges came up with something called Polyvagal Theory to explain how our nervous system works in different situations. It breaks down the parasympathetic system further into:

  • Ventral Vagal System: This is when you feel safe and connected with others. You’re relaxed, happy, and your body feels good.

  • Dorsal Vagal System: This kicks in during extreme stress or danger, making you feel shut down or numb. It's like your body’s way of hiding from danger when you can't escape.


How Stress Changes Our Perception

When we’re in a "fight or flight" state (sympathetic) or "shut down" state (dorsal vagal), our body is on high alert for danger. Things around us can seem more threatening than they are. This is because our nervous system is trying to protect us by focusing on anything that might be unsafe.


The Role of Self-Care

Self-care practices help us move into the ventral vagal state, where we feel safe and connected. Here’s how:

  • Relaxation: Activities like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga help calm the sympathetic nervous system and activate the ventral vagal system.

  • Connection: Spending time with loved ones, hugging, or even talking to a friend can make us feel more secure and supported.

  • Routine: Regular habits like a good sleep schedule, healthy eating, and exercise keep our nervous system balanced.


When we engage in self-care practices, we are supporting our nervous system. This means that any practice—whether it’s cognitive, physical, emotional, or spiritual—that helps to regulate our nervous system will help shift us towards the ventral vagal state.


Big and Small Practices

It’s important to remember that both big and small practices that support the nervous system contribute to this shift. Whether you’re taking a moment to breathe deeply, going for a walk, practicing gratitude, or connecting with a friend, you’re helping your nervous system move towards a state where you feel safer and more at ease.


When the shift to the ventral vagal state occurs:

  • We Feel Safer: Our body isn’t on high alert, so we feel more relaxed and secure.

  • The World Seems Safer: Without the constant lookout for danger, we can see things more clearly and feel more at ease in our environment.

  • Increased Ability for Connection and Routine: As we feel safer, we find it easier to engage in activities that promote connection and establish healthy routines.


This approach shows that we can support ourselves in a "top-down" manner by choosing activities that are directly ventral vagal or "bottom-up" by selecting any activity that helps regulate our nervous system, thus creating more possibilities for us to shift into a ventral vagal state and feeling more available for relaxation and connection.


In short, self-care isn't just about feeling good in the moment. It helps our nervous system stay balanced, which makes us feel safer and more connected to the world around us. Please click here to check out our Self-Care Resource Blogs with suggestions for self-care practices that you may find supportive.


If you are looking for personalized support to explore ways to support your nervous system, we invite you to contact us about our counseling and coaching services. You can reach out through our Contact Form or by booking a 15-minute Discovery Call.




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